Diet Critic

Thoraxidin is a diet pill claiming some of us might have actually evolved from insects. Dr. Chancerous states, “we all may have humanoid form, but in actuality some living among us have ancestors from the class insectum.” Um, Ok??

He further states, “…if some of us evolved directly from insects, we must be eating the wrong types of food.  If we look at the diet of insects you will see they survive off of flowers, seeds, cones (conifers), fruiting bodies of plants, stems/needles, nectar, roots, sap, woody tissues, etc, etc.”  Hardly the American Diet!

What Thoraxidin Does

I don’t know what it does, but it claims to be a “mammal blocker”.  In other words, taking these diet pills twice a day will trick your body into thinking it’s getting all the cravings a mammal might need (i.e. meat, fat, bread, cheese, potatoes, apple pie, etc.) allowing you to return to your “insect roots” and chomp down on a nice chunk of driftwood, washed down with the sweet nectar of a honeysuckle.  Delicious and Nutritious!

The makers of Thoraxidin also claim after two short years of taking this “top diet pill” twice a day, your body will be detoxified of human toxins and you’ll be able to cut your dosage in half.  Talk about saving you some money!

Guarantees

The fine makers of Thoraxidin Guarantee their product. If you don’t lose any weight after the first year they will ”create” a way for you to send in a sample of your saliva to test if you originate from the class insectum.  In order to qualify for the Free test, you must first buy a years supply of Thoraxidim.  When asked about the details of the “test”, a spokesman said, “we haven’t yet created this process because nobody has bought a years supply from us.”

Conclusion

If you’re dumb enough to try this diet pill, go all the way and get the year supply.  We want to see that “insectum DNA test” created, and soon!